5 Steps for Introducing Your Dog To Kids
Bringing home a new dog when you have children is exciting, and that excitement is exactly why I want everybody to slow down.
The kids want to meet the dog. They want to pet him, show him his toys, take him to their room, sit beside him, hug him, introduce him to their friends and basically make up for every minute of his life that happened before he became their dog.
The new dog may have a very different plan.
He has just changed homes. Maybe people. Maybe routines. Maybe food, smells, sounds, sleeping arrangements and everything else he understood about his world. If he came from a shelter or rescue, you may also have large gaps in what you know about his history with children.
This does not mean the introduction needs to be scary. It means it needs to be thoughtful.
A successful first meeting does not require your child to pet the dog. It does not require the dog to lick the child's face. It does not require play.
Sometimes the best first introduction is wonderfully uneventful.
Your first goal is not “make the dog and child love each other.” Your first goal is much simpler: everybody feels safe, nobody is pressured, and nothing bad happens.
Please Don't Guess Your Way Through This
If you do not know how to safely introduce this particular dog to your children, if you are unsure about something you are seeing, or if any part of the dog's history or behavior makes you hesitate, call a qualified professional before you proceed.
This is not one of those situations where I want you to “give it a try” and see what happens. A rushed introduction, a missed warning or one bad decision can result in a child being bitten, a dog being surrendered or euthanized, and a family living with the consequences of a moment we cannot take back.
You lose nothing by slowing down, putting up a gate, keeping the dog on leash, separating everyone and getting another set of experienced eyes on the situation before you move forward.
If your gut is telling you that you are not sure, listen to it. Slow down and get help. These are potentially life-changing mistakes, and there is no prize for rushing an introduction just because everyone wants the dog and child to become friends.
First, Know What Dog You Are Bringing Home
Before we get to the five steps, I want as much information as possible about this dog's history.
If the dog came from a rescue or foster, ask specifically about children. Not simply, “Is he good with kids?” That question is far too broad.
I want to know:
- Has the dog actually lived with children?
- What ages were they?
- Has he been around toddlers?
- How does he respond to running and squealing?
- Has he ever growled at, snapped at or bitten a child?
- Does he guard food, toys, furniture, beds or chews?
- How does he handle being startled while sleeping?
- Does he become uncomfortable when hugged, restrained or handled?
- Does he chase moving children?
- Does he become over-aroused during play?
- Is there anything the foster or previous family deliberately avoided?
“He was fine when my niece visited once” and “he lived peacefully with three children for two years” are very different pieces of information.
If the history is unknown, then treat it as unknown. Do not fill in the blank with the answer you hope is true.
5 Steps for Introducing Your Dog to Kids
Prepare the Children Before the Dog Arrives
The first training session happens before the dog ever walks through the door.
Tell the kids exactly what the first day will look like. The dog may not want to be touched immediately. He may need to explore. He may rest. He may stay behind a gate or on leash with an adult. He may go into his crate or onto Place and be completely off limits for a while.
Children need simple rules they can actually understand: don't run at the dog, don't hug him, don't put your face in his face, don't climb on him, don't take things out of his mouth, don't bother him while he eats or sleeps, and don't follow him when he is trying to move away.
For young children, rules are not enough. Toddlers and preschoolers do not have reliable impulse control simply because you gave a wonderful speech before the dog arrived. The environment still has to prevent them from getting into situations they are too young to manage.
Make the First Meeting Calm and Boring
I want an adult controlling the dog during the initial introduction. Depending on the dog, that may mean a leash, gate or another appropriate physical setup that gives everyone enough space.
The child does not need to march directly toward the dog's face with a hand extended for inspection. The dog can smell the child perfectly well without a small hand being placed directly in front of his mouth.
I would rather have the child sit or stand calmly, turn slightly sideways and let the dog collect information without pressure.
If the dog wants to approach and his body remains relaxed, great. Let him sniff. The child does not need to immediately reach over his head and begin petting him.
For many dogs, the first successful interaction can simply be: I was in a room with this little human, nobody chased me, nobody grabbed me, and good things happened.
That is a perfectly good beginning.
Build Positive Associations Without Forcing Contact
I do want the dog developing good associations with children, but positive association does not require immediate touching.
Food can be extremely useful with an appropriate dog. Instead of requiring the child to hand-feed immediately, I may have the adult reward the dog while the child is quietly present. An older child may toss treats away from their body so the dog can move toward the food and away again without social pressure.
The important part is that the dog does not have to move closer to the child than he is comfortable going in order to receive something good.
If toys create wild arousal, I don't use toys simply because the dog loves them. I am trying to build a calm, safe association with the child, not turn the first introduction into WrestleMania.
Create Protected Space and Actively Supervise
The dog needs somewhere he can go where children are not allowed to follow him.
That may be a crate, gated area, separate room, bed or Place, depending on the dog and household. Whatever you use, the rule has to be real.
If the dog is on Place, children do not climb onto the cot with him. They do not pet him because he looks cute. They do not bring their friends over to meet him there. If the dog is in his crate, children do not poke fingers through the bars, crawl inside, take his chew or repeatedly open the door.
If we tell a dog he cannot leave a space, we owe him protection inside that space.
And when the dog and child are together, supervision means an adult is actually supervising. Being somewhere in the house is not supervision. Looking at your phone while the toddler climbs onto the dog is not supervision.
Build the Relationship Slowly Through Structured Life
Once everybody is comfortable, older children can become part of normal routines and simple training.
They may help toss rewards for Recall. They can ask a dog who already knows Sit to Sit and then reward him. They can hide treats for Find It. They can walk beside an adult on a family walk. They can help practice Place or other easy familiar behaviors under adult supervision.
I am not making the child responsible for enforcing obedience or physically controlling the dog. I am giving the child and dog positive, structured things to do together.
That relationship can gradually grow into affection, play and more freedom as both dog and child demonstrate that they know how to handle it.
Positive Association Does Not Require Hand-Feeding
I want to separate positive association from the idea that a child needs to immediately start handing food to a dog he has just met.
With some easygoing dogs and older children, hand-feeding may eventually be fine. But I don't need to start there, especially when I don't yet know how the dog handles food, close proximity or children's hands near his face.
I can create exactly the association I want more safely.
The child appears. The adult gives the dog something good.
The child sits across the room. Food appears.
An older child tosses a treat away from himself and lets the dog choose whether to return.
Nothing about this requires the child to reach into the dog's space.
Let the Dog Approach the Child
People are often so eager for the introduction that they accidentally corner the dog socially.
The dog is standing there trying to understand a brand-new environment while three children surround him, everybody reaches toward his head and someone announces, “He loves kids!” because the dog hasn't done anything yet.
Back up.
Give him room.
If the dog wants to sniff the child, wonderful. If he sniffs and walks away, let him walk away. If he chooses to lie across the room and observe, that may be all I ask for today.
The dog does not owe every child physical affection.
Neutral and comfortable is a very good place to start.
Kids Move Differently Than Adults
Children can be genuinely difficult for some dogs to understand. They move quickly, change direction without warning, fall down, wave their arms, squeal, run, carry food, drop toys and sometimes travel through the house at exactly the height of a dog's face.
That does not make children wrong for being children.
It means the adults need to recognize how their movement can affect the dog.
A young dog may see running children and immediately join the chase. A herding dog may begin cutting off movement or nipping at heels. An over-aroused puppy may leap, mouth clothing and grab arms. A fearful dog may feel increasingly trapped as a child follows him around the room trying to make friends.
Those are situations I want to interrupt before they become normal household patterns.
Running and Squealing Can Turn Into Chasing and Nipping
I have said for years that puppies are practicing while they play.
If every afternoon involves the children sprinting through the house while the puppy chases, jumps, grabs clothing and nips at legs, we should not be surprised when the puppy becomes an adolescent and still believes that is how children and dogs interact.
Only now the dog is bigger, faster and capable of hurting somebody.
Children can absolutely have fun with dogs. Give the game some rules.
Play Recall between two appropriate people. Hide treats and play Find It. Have the child help toss a ball for a dog who plays appropriately. Practice tricks. Take a family walk. Use structured games where the dog can be excited without repeatedly rehearsing jumping on or biting at the child.
Children Need Rules Around Sleeping Dogs
A sleeping dog should be allowed to sleep.
Do not let children crawl on him, hug him while he is asleep, put their faces beside his face or repeatedly wake him because they want to play.
Some dogs tolerate being startled remarkably well. Others do not.
And with a newly adopted dog, you may not know yet.
If the dog is sleeping in his crate, bed or another designated resting area, I make that space especially clear to children: leave him alone.
There will be plenty of time for interaction when the dog is awake and everyone is prepared for it.
Meals and Chews Need Their Own Rules
I do not use a new dog's dinner as an experiment to find out how he feels about children touching his food.
Feed the dog where he can eat comfortably without a child wandering over, putting a hand in the bowl or taking food away.
High-value chews deserve the same consideration.
If the dog finishes eating and moves away, an adult can pick up the bowl. If the dog has a chew, let him enjoy it somewhere protected rather than giving it in the middle of the family room and asking a three-year-old to remember not to touch it.
If the dog freezes, hard-stares, hovers over food, growls, snaps or has a known history of resource guarding, that is not something I let a child help me “train through.”
Children Do Not Work Resource Guarding
If a dog guards food, toys, chews, beds, furniture or another resource from people, adults manage the situation.
A child should never be asked to prove that the dog will surrender a resource.
Do not have the child reach into the food bowl, take a bone, pull the dog off furniture, grab his collar or put hands near an object the dog has already threatened to defend.
Teach Children to Recognize “No Thanks”
Children don't need to become canine body-language experts, but older kids can absolutely learn a few important signs that tell them to stop interacting and get an adult.
The dog may:
- turn his head away repeatedly;
- try to leave;
- hide behind furniture or an adult;
- become suddenly still;
- stiffen his body;
- close his mouth and stare;
- show the whites of his eyes;
- lick his lips repeatedly when no food is present;
- lower or tuck his body;
- move away when touched;
- growl; or
- snap.
I particularly want children understanding one simple rule:
If the dog walks away, let him go.
Do not chase him to continue the interaction.
Do Not Punish a Growl and Leave the Child in Place
If the dog growls at a child, I am not interested in scolding the growl while allowing the child to continue doing whatever made the dog uncomfortable.
I separate them and figure out what happened.
Was the child hugging him? Did the dog have food? Was he sleeping? Did the child corner him? Was the dog already frightened? Did somebody miss five quieter warnings before the growl?
A growl is information that the situation is going badly.
I want to know that.
If you suppress the warning without addressing the reason for it, you have not necessarily made the dog safer. You may simply have less warning the next time.
If Your Dog Growls, Snaps or Bites at a Child, Stop
Do not decide they need more time together to “work it out.” Do not repeatedly recreate the situation to see whether the dog does it again. Do not ask the child to behave differently and then immediately put them back together to test whether that fixed it.
Separate them safely and change the management immediately.
A dog who has demonstrated that he may bite a child should not have casual access to that child while you hope the behavior improves.
Children can sustain severe injuries in seconds. The dog may then lose his home or his life. These are exactly the outcomes we are trying to prevent by taking the first warning seriously.
If you are not certain what happened or how to manage the next interaction safely, this is where you call a professional before you try again.
The Child Should Not Be the Dog's Enforcer
I absolutely like children participating in training with appropriate dogs. It can build communication, confidence and a wonderful relationship.
But I am not asking a seven-year-old to establish leadership over a seventy-pound dog.
The adults are responsible for the household rules. The adults follow through. The adults handle difficult behavior. The adults control the leash when strength or safety is an issue. The adults manage resources and boundaries.
An older child can cue Sit and reward it. The child can play Find It. The child can participate in Recall games. The child can help with appropriate tricks and routines.
But if the dog refuses a command, stiffens, growls, guards something or becomes over-aroused, the child is not responsible for correcting or physically controlling the dog.
Do Not Let Children Grab the Collar
This is especially important with a new dog whose handling history you do not yet know.
Grabbing a collar places hands very close to the dog's face, and some dogs become defensive when restrained that way.
If the dog needs physical management, an adult should be handling the leash or other appropriate equipment.
Children do not need to drag the dog to Place, pull him off furniture, remove him from the room or wrestle him away from something.
Give them the parts of the relationship that are safe and age appropriate.
The Dog Needs Protection From the Child Too
This conversation can become strangely one-sided. Everyone worries about whether the dog will hurt the child — appropriately — but sometimes nobody is protecting the dog from constant unwanted interaction.
Dogs should not have to tolerate children climbing on them, hitting them, pulling fur, cornering them, waking them repeatedly, sitting on them, riding them or hugging them around the neck because someone wants a cute photograph.
That is not how we make dogs “good with kids.”
We teach the child appropriate behavior and we teach the dog how to live around the normal movement and noise that comes with family life. Both sides get boundaries. Both sides get protection.
Protected Place Means Protected
I talk about this extensively when I teach Place.
If the dog is on Place, he cannot leave until released. That means I have taken away his ability to walk away from an interaction.
So the humans must protect that space.
Children do not crawl onto Place. They do not sit on the dog's cot. They do not hug him there, take toys from him there or use his inability to leave as an opportunity to pet him.
Place can be a fantastic way to let the dog remain included in family life without being in the middle of children's activity, but only if the boundary works in both directions.
The dog stays on Place.
The children stay off it.
Toddlers Require Management, Not Trust
You cannot explain canine consent to an eighteen-month-old and consider the safety plan complete.
Toddlers fall. They grab. They move unpredictably. They forget rules approximately three seconds after you explain them.
If you have a dog and a very young child, physical management needs to be part of daily life. Gates, crates, pens, closed doors, Place when appropriate and active adult supervision make sure the system does not depend on a toddler making excellent decisions every minute of the day.
The same is true in reverse. I don't expect a dog to absorb every toddler mistake without having boundaries of his own.
Adults build the system.
Do Not Assume a Puppy Is Automatically Safe Because He Is a Puppy
Puppies can hurt children too.
A puppy may be socially easy and have no aggressive intent whatsoever, but sharp teeth, over-arousal, chasing and jumping can still injure a young child.
A large-breed adolescent puppy can knock down a toddler without meaning any harm at all.
This is why I don't wait for “real aggression” before creating structure.
Teach the puppy not to chase children. Work on jumping. Teach Place. Build impulse control. Give him appropriate games. Use an indoor leash while he is learning if necessary.
Don't spend the first six months laughing because the puppy chasing the children is cute and then suddenly decide at sixty pounds that he needs to stop.
A New Rescue May Show You More Later
This is another reason I am conservative during the first days and weeks.
A newly adopted dog can be unusually quiet at first. He may be overwhelmed, tired or unsure enough that he simply doesn't do very much.
As he becomes more comfortable, you may start seeing more personality — and sometimes more behavior.
The dog who ignored toys during Week One may guard one during Week Three. The dog who barely noticed the children may begin chasing them once he feels comfortable moving through the house. The quiet dog may become more vocal or more opinionated as the environment becomes familiar.
That doesn't mean the dog tricked you.
It means you are still getting to know him.
Keep supervising while that picture develops.
Visiting Children Are a Different Challenge
Your own child may know every rule in the house. Their friend may know none of them.
A visiting child may run toward the dog, reach through the crate, squeal, try to hug him or ignore your instruction not to touch him because “dogs love me.”
If I have any concern about how my dog handles unfamiliar children, I manage the dog before the child enters.
That may mean Place at an appropriate distance for a safe dog, or it may mean a gate, crate or completely separate room.
A visiting child does not need to meet your dog.
There is no social-development emergency created because your dog spent an afternoon safely separated while a six-year-old birthday party happened in the living room.
The Dog Does Not Need to Love Children
Your dog does not need to adore children.
He needs to be safe around the children he will actually live with, and the household needs to provide whatever management that requires.
Some dogs genuinely love children. Some are neutral. Some find them difficult. Some should not live with them at all.
Those are different dogs.
I don't force a dog who is clearly uncomfortable with children into repeated physical interaction because somebody decided every family dog should enjoy being hugged by toddlers.
Neutrality can be an excellent goal.
How I Want the First Few Days to Look
Short Interactions
Give everybody breaks. The dog does not need to spend twelve straight hours surrounded by excited children simply because he lives there now.
Adult-Controlled Leash
If a leash is needed, an adult handles it. Children are not responsible for physically controlling a dog they cannot safely manage.
Protected Rest
The dog has a crate, Place, bed or separate area where he can sleep and decompress without children following him.
Calm Exposure
The dog gets to observe normal family activity without being required to participate in all of it.
Structured Fun
Use Recall games, Find It, simple tricks and other supervised activities instead of uncontrolled chasing and wrestling.
Watch the Dog
Pay attention to changes in body language, avoidance, guarding, arousal and comfort rather than assuming silence means everything is fine.
How Do I Know the Introduction Is Going Well?
I am looking for a dog who can remain physically and emotionally comfortable around the child.
He can lie down. He can walk away. He can take food normally. He is not constantly monitoring the child's movement. His body looks loose rather than frozen. He is able to respond to familiar cues. He may choose to approach and then choose to leave without anyone preventing him.
I also want the child becoming less obsessed with the dog.
That sounds funny, but it is important. The dog should eventually become part of normal family life rather than the center of every child's attention every waking second.
Everybody learns how to coexist.
When I Would Stop the Introduction
I stop or create much more distance if I see the dog becoming increasingly stiff, avoidant, fixated or overwhelmed.
I also stop if the child's behavior is beyond what I can reasonably control in that moment.
I do not keep going because “they have to get used to each other.”
I definitely do not keep going after a growl or snap because I want to see whether the dog was serious.
Separate them. Let everyone recover. Figure out what created the problem before attempting another setup.
And if you do not know what you just saw or how to safely set up the next interaction, do not guess. Call someone who does.
If There Is a Bite History, This Is Not a Casual Introduction
If the dog has previously bitten a child, seriously threatened children, shown predatory or intense chasing toward children, guarded resources from children or has another history that creates meaningful bite risk, I want that information taken seriously before the dog shares space with a child.
A leash is not enough by itself if the dog can reach the child.
“He'll probably be fine” is not a management plan.
And the child should never be the test subject used to determine whether the behavior has improved.
If Failure Means a Child Gets Bitten, Build More Than One Layer
Use appropriate separation, secure gates, doors, crates, leashes, conditioned muzzles or other management based on the actual dog and actual risk.
Training can improve behavior. Until you know exactly what has changed, physical safety still matters.
A dog with a serious bite history does not earn casual or unsupervised access to children because he completed a few good training sessions.
There are mistakes in dog training that we can simply fix tomorrow. A serious bite to a child is not one of them. The injury, trauma, legal consequences, surrender or euthanasia that can follow may permanently change the lives of the child, family and dog.
If you are uncertain about the risk, stop the introduction and get professional help before proceeding.
Children and Dogs Both Need Teaching
I absolutely teach children how to behave around dogs. I also teach dogs how to live around children.
But the adult owns the safety.
I teach children how to interact respectfully. I teach dogs how to live around the movement and noise that comes with family life. I use training to give the dog useful skills. I use boundaries to prevent chaos. I give the dog protected space. And I supervise the relationship until both sides have enough history together that I know what I am looking at.
That is a much more complete picture than simply deciding the child needs to behave better or the dog needs to tolerate more.
Slow Is Not a Failed Introduction
Sometimes people worry that using gates, leashes, Place, quiet time or separate spaces means the adoption isn't working.
It doesn't.
You just brought another living being into a family system that already has established routines and relationships. You are allowed to take some time putting the pieces together.
The child does not need unlimited access to the dog on Day One.
The dog does not need unlimited access to the child on Day One either.
If everybody gets comfortable quickly, wonderful. If it takes days or weeks before the dog and children feel completely ordinary around one another, that is fine too.
I would much rather take two weeks building a relationship carefully than spend the next two years trying to undo something frightening that happened because everybody rushed the first afternoon.
The Goal Is Ordinary Family Life
Eventually, I want the introduction to stop feeling like an introduction.
The dog lies on his bed while the children watch television. Somebody gets up and walks through the room and the dog barely notices. The kids know not to disturb him while he eats. The dog can hear children running elsewhere in the house without becoming completely over-aroused. The children can participate in appropriate games and training. Everyone knows where the boundaries are.
That is what success looks like to me.
Not a photograph of a child hugging a brand-new dog around the neck twelve minutes after he came home.
A safe relationship has time to become a real one.
Slow down the first meeting. Let the dog approach instead of forcing contact. Build positive associations. Protect the dog's space. Teach the children the rules. Let adults own the safety. And if anything makes you uncertain, stop and get help before you proceed. We can always make an introduction slower. We cannot take back the one that went terribly wrong.
Introducing Dogs to Children FAQ
The first introduction does not need to produce instant friendship. It needs to give everyone a safe place to begin.
Should my child pet the new dog immediately?
No. There is no requirement that physical contact happen during the first introduction. Let the dog observe, sniff and approach voluntarily. If the dog remains comfortable and wants interaction, you can gradually allow appropriate petting.
Should my child hold out a hand for the dog to sniff?
I don't consider that necessary. The dog can smell the child perfectly well without a hand being extended toward his face. I would rather have the child remain calm and let the dog choose whether he wants to approach.
Should the first meeting happen on leash?
Often I like an adult to have appropriate physical control during the first introduction, especially when the dog is new or his child history is uncertain. Keep the leash loose enough that you are not adding constant tension, and do not use it to force the dog closer to the child.
Can my child give the dog treats?
With an appropriate dog and an older child, tossing treats can be a useful positive interaction. I do not immediately put a child's hand beside the mouth of a dog whose food behavior or child history I do not yet know. The adult can provide the reward while the child is present until more information is available.
Should children feed the dog from his bowl?
I do not need children involved with the bowl to create a good relationship. Let the new dog eat peacefully, especially while you are still learning how he behaves around food. Children should never be used to test whether a dog resource guards.
Can kids help train the dog?
Yes, when the dog is safe and the activity fits the child's age. Recall games, Find It, tricks and rewarding familiar commands can be wonderful. Adults remain responsible for physical handling, corrections, conflict, resource issues and any behavior involving bite risk.
What if my dog walks away from my child?
Let him. Walking away is often a perfectly appropriate way for a dog to end an interaction. Teach the child not to follow or corner him.
What if my new dog growls at my child?
Separate them and take it seriously. Look at what was happening around the growl rather than simply punishing the warning. Do not repeatedly recreate the situation to see whether the dog does it again. If you are unsure what caused it or how to safely proceed, get professional help before another interaction.
Can the dog sleep with my child?
I would not make that a Day One privilege with a dog whose behavior and sleep responses you do not yet know. Give the dog his own sleeping arrangement first. You can make different decisions later after you actually know the dog.
What if my puppy chases the kids?
Interrupt it and change the game. Do not let chasing, clothing grabbing and nipping become the puppy's normal way of interacting with children. Use structured games, Place, an indoor leash when appropriate and adult supervision while better habits are being built.
How long should I supervise my dog around children?
There is no magic number of days. Supervision should match the child's age, the dog's history, the relationship you have observed and the consequences if something goes wrong. Very young children require much more active management because they cannot reliably follow dog-safety rules on their own.
What if the dog has bitten a child before?
Do not treat that as a normal first-introduction situation. A prior child bite substantially changes the safety picture. Prevent casual access, use appropriate physical management and get professional help evaluating the specific behavior before placing another child within reach of the dog.
What if I'm just not sure about the introduction?
That is enough reason to slow down. Separate the dog and child safely and talk with a qualified professional before moving to the next step. You do not need to wait for a growl, snap or bite to justify asking for help.
Continue From Here
How to Safely Teach Children and Dogs to Live Together →
How to Stop Puppy Biting, Nipping & Mouthing →
When You Need Another Set of Experienced Eyes
You do not need to wait until something goes wrong to ask for help. If you are bringing home a dog with an unknown history, you are seeing body language you don't understand, your child is nervous, the dog seems uncomfortable, or you simply do not feel confident setting up the introduction safely, get help before taking the next step.
That is especially important when there is any history of growling, snapping, biting, resource guarding, chasing children or significant fear around them.
With children and dogs, prevention is worth far more than figuring out afterward what everyone should have done differently.